When You Need to Breathe

Dear grief,

Dear jealousy,

Dear tsunami-high expectations,

Dear you:

(Because when your expectations are as high as a tidal wave, you get caught under all of it and you can’t breathe –)

It’s totally okay.

Yeah, and things aren’t fine, and they won’t be, and you’ll never be who other people want you to be. Your own expectations aren’t the only ones you’ll never measure up to.

You won’t get that high-salary job, those extra degrees, that spotless home. You’ll wonder where the time went, and why the kitchen table is still dirty, and why you don’t have energy to do anything but sleep. You’ll be attacked because you said the wrong thing, disappeared at the wrong time, slipped up and made a decision that you shouldn’t have – and you know it and feel it, all too keenly.

The failings pile up on top of the expectations, and it’s too much.

At some point you try to laugh – you try to wash your cares down the drain with the dirty dishwater, but it doesn’t work.

It’s just this way: you can’t meet everyone’s expectations.

You can’t. 

You can try to please everyone and do it all wrong – or you can stop trying, and just give it to God.

His system is all by grace and not by good deeds, not by the number of hours worked, not by clean silverware, not by closed garages and pumped-up bike tires and bills paid and all the boxes checked –

and if anyone could please God by checking all the boxes, we wouldn’t need Jesus. 

But His yoke is easy and His burden is light. (Matthew 11:30)

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