For years God has been saying “No,” but this fall he said, “Be brave.”
There are packets of tea on the counter, tea and hot chocolate, and it all looks so good.
I’m looking through it all. I can’t decide. There are too many options. I want the best one – and I can’t pick and I don’t know. It overwhelms me so completely that I almost start crying. I’m shaking, and I slide to the floor.
And then I understand: this is how I react to everything in life. God gives me options, all so good, and I can’t ever choose. If I pick one, I reason, I’ll miss something else good. Thus, I’m paralyzed – what if I make the wrong decision? What if I screw everything up?
There’ll always be more tea. He’ll give me another blessing another time.
This isn’t my only shot at grace.
(Because that’s what grace is, right? Unconditional love, no matter how many shots I take and miss?)
If I get it wrong now, he’ll give me another chance. This is real, livable grace.