it is provided // cardboard faith

Oh honey, I know that life is really tough right now.

(We can sit in the dim light and wait it out together –)

I’m praying Psalm 139 for you,

because He has searched you and known you – He discerns your thoughts from afar – He is acquainted with all your ways.

Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too.

When you don’t know where you’re going, and all you can do is cry and cry,

I fall down on my face before God and “because He stoops down to listen, I will pray as long as I have breath!” (Psalm 116:2)

O Lord, do not relent! Would you continue to hem her in, behind and before, to lay your hand on her? It is too much for her – but Lord, don’t relent! 

It overwhelms me. I can’t believe anything but that God is working right here. This is his work, and his territory, and his domain. It’s His – no one may touch it.

Honey – no one understands. They’re all calling it something else, labeling it the way the weathermen name hurricanes, but this is the wind of the Holy Spirit.

My God is so good.

To begin: He heals me when I don’t know how to ask wholeheartedly. I pray for healing, and I doubt that He will.

I pray that He’ll knock down all my cardboard faith. I’ve built it up in imitation of real faith – so I can say I believe, but I’m really only wishing. There’s a lot of it, and it’s real and stands as tall and proud as castle walls, but it doesn’t hold against pressure.

With the hard-as-diamonds mustard seed of faith left in the heart of me, I ask Him for healing.

“Answer me quickly, O LORD! My spirit fails!

Let me hear in the morning of your steadfast love, for in you I trust.” (Psalm 143:6-7)

So, honey – you are fully known and fully held by the One who shaped the world. Maybe that isn’t enough for you right now, and that’s okay.

What I know is this: He has been working in your family for decades, and He’s beginning in earnest on you now. Do you feel the earthquakes? Is your world crumbling to pieces? Those are the tremors of His love. 

 

 

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